Taking Time To Be

July 14th, 2014 at 5:05 am
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Hallie

Yesterday I celebrated my 23rd year as a living, breathing, thinking, praying, doing, watching, hoping, wishing human being.

Fresh off of a move into a new apartment, I spent most of the weekend unpacking boxes, cleaning dusty corners, and trying not to panic at the explosion of kitchen stuff scattered far and wide. I’m far from settled, but things are looking much better than they did on Friday.

Leaving my old house behind was a mix of hope and heartache. Bare walls and empty kitchens are a real downer.

Up until last Thursday, I’ve always lived with family. With my parent’s recent relocation to northern Wisconsin and my sister in Utah, I’m officially on my own now. It’s exciting and new, and also sad and slightly terrifying.

I wrote both of my books in my old house, testing hundreds of recipes in that kitchen.

I lived through several months of intense remodeling there, which only made the final finished project so much more gratifying.

I became an aunt in that house. I remember exactly where I was and what I was doing when we got the “It’s a boy!” text. I watched my nephew celebrate his first Christmas there.

A house is just a house, but what it represents can fill volumes. Moving out of this one for me is not just another move. It symbolizes the transition to a new phase of life, the soundless turn of a page as I start the next chapter.

At 23, my life is rolled out in front of me like a scroll with—Lord willing—years more moves and chapters ahead.

Twenty-three in real life is both harder and easier than I thought it would be. Easier because I’m through my “growing up” phase and no longer crave approval or acceptance like I used to. And harder because it’s sometimes really scary and lonely and filled with unknowns that make my brain hum a silent AHHHHHHH!!

Twenty-three in real life.

It’s paying bills. It’s learning how to deal with people. It’s being smart with resources. It’s committing to values and integrity in a whole new way. It’s realizing that the stakes are high, and being okay with it.

It’s feeling dreams flutter in your chest. It’s watching your nephew grow and thrive. It’s awaiting the arrival of a new little family member to love.

Twenty-three in real life is hard days, amazing days, and ho-hum days. It’s a lot of doing, but also a lot of waiting. A lot of being.

It’s trusting, leaning, and praying. It’s scary, and then it’s jubilant. It’s murky, and then it’s crystal clear.

If I’m being honest, it’s going to be harder than I thought to go through this stage of life “alone,” try as I might to rely heavily on my faith for companionship and strength.

I rarely (if ever?) talk about relationships here on the blog, because honestly my life just isn’t very dramatic on that front. But I will say this: sometimes being a single person with a heart that beats for the home, family, and hospitality is just hard.

In one of her many great posts, Ali shared her thoughts on this very topic, When Being Single Just Feels Hard. It’s like she climbed into my head and wrote every word I ever thought on the subject. I think it’s a great read for both singles and marrieds.

Sunset

This was the sunset I watched from the living room of the old house on my final night there. It’s like the Giver of the night new exactly what I was going through and offered me a beautiful parting gift painted in the skies. I cried a little, and then laughed because I had to hunt through a stack of boxes to find the tissues that I’d already packed up.

Life is changing in big ways. To be honest, my emotions are all over the place. I’m feeling a little scattered and a little tattered.

I’m so hopeful about the future and eagerly expectant of what God has up His sleeve for me, but that doesn’t minimize the stress that big life transitions bring with them.

So as a birthday gift to myself, I’ve decided to take a short break from posting here. In my 5+ years of blogging, I’ve never gone more than 10 days without posting. I think it’s about time that this stressed 23 year old cut herself some slack!

When things aren't adding up...

Subtract

In an effort to rejuvenate myself spiritually, emotionally, and physically, I think a brief blogging break is just what the doctor ordered. I’m thinking of it as a mini internet vacation where I’ll be spending a little less time online and a little more time in the places that fuel and restore me: nature, the kitchen, God’s Word, and in the company of loved ones.

Don’t panic—I’ll be back! And if you get hungry in the meantime, browse around the Daily Bites recipe archives. There are hundreds of dishes I know you’ll love.

Make no mistake about it. It’s an absolute joy and privilege for me to connect with you here. Doing this work is one of the highlights of my life. But I’m grateful that I can take a few steps back from it now and then to hit the refresh button and just take time to be.

Because after all, that’s what we are. Human beings. Not human doings. Someone should write a book and call it Practicing the Art of Being: Meditations on Doing Less and Being More. Maybe I will. :)

Have a wonderful week and I’ll see you soon.

-

p.s. I’ll be checking in now and then on Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram throughout my blogging break, so follow me there to stay in touch.

Comments

  1. SherriS. said on July 14, 2014 at 6:34 am

    Wow Hallie! First let me say a belated Happy Birthday to you! I’m sitting here in shock that you just turned 23 ~ simply because you have accomplished so much I assumed you were older:)

    By all means enjoy some time away. I can relate that this major change takes some getting used to. Enjoy summer and getting to know yourself in your own space.

  2. I really can relate to you on this. Being is so unmentioned in our world. I have been d0ing since I was 23! Let me suggest this to you: God has a perfect plan for your life, he is beautiful for your situation. However he decides to work in you, its perfect for you and he will lead you all the way. I will keep you in my prayers. Life is tough, Can you imagine do it with out God? I know I can’t. Enjoy your time he has blessed you with and know that he Loves you!

  3. Gretchen said on July 14, 2014 at 11:52 am

    Congrats on being in your 1st home, and I know you will make it a home. Just think of this as a child taking his first steps, there are some trips and falls, but eventually he learns to walk and then run. Here’s to those first steps – you’ll do great!

  4. Sherry Kurtz said on July 14, 2014 at 11:53 am

    Hallie, I am new to your blog, but wanted to comment on this post because my daughter is in the same place in her life as you. She will be 25 in Sept and had moved out on her own but, because of a job loss, came back home. She has now landed a great job and will be moving out (after she returns from her trip to Ireland) in a few weeks. She is also single and will be living alone. Although she will only be an hours drive from us it will be a different world for her. It’s definitely tough to be forging a path for yourself. I guess it boils down to the attitude one takes toward it–exciting or difficult? I know it can be both, but when it does get tough if your approach is an openness to the positive change that struggle can offer than you’re less likely to get stuck in the muck. ;) You seem like a strong, positive young woman–you’re going to ROCK this!! God Bless.

  5. Congrats Hallie!
    God is good All the Time! I’m so proud of you! You are doing great things!

  6. Happy birthday Hallie. Opportunities beyond all of our wildest dreams are up ahead, so rest up and enjoy this wonderful transition.

    Being alone is being all-one.

    Blessings to you…

  7. Happy Birthday, Hallie! I’m just a reader, not a poster. Please don’t be gone too long. I will still enjoy your recipes. You enjoy your time. But please come back. I love your recipes. I can’t believe you are so young. I could technically be your grandma. You are my favorite gluten free, dairy free blogger. You will be missed. Just sayin’ Sue

  8. Hallie, I too am stocked you are so young. You seem so mature, but age never mattered. I have always loved your blog and in fact have kept reading yours over so many others.
    Love your recipes, and the simple and easy way you present your topics.
    Take this time to reflect and be at peace, you have your entire life a head of you.

  9. Happy Birthday and happy new home! I am looking forward to seeing your renovated kitchen. I hope you share! I so enjoy learning new things from you and pass them along to my friends and students!

    • Vicki: Thanks! I don’t think I ever got around to posting pictures of the before/after of my old kitchen. I’ll try to get around to it soon! Better late than never. :)

  10. Hallie,
    Happy belated birthday!! And I wish you luck and peace and happiness as you get settled into your new home. I’m only a couple of years older than you, but I definitely can relate to everything you are going through in your life right now. Just over a year ago, I moved out on my own for the first time (mind you, it was moving in with my boyfriend, but for both of us it was our first times living completely independently) and I really landed hard in the big life transition of living, being, doing, learning, and growing in your mid-20’s. I became caught up and swept away in managing bills and resources, keeping up socially, working full-time while trying to look for a better, steadier job, and navigating through my newfound dairy and gluten-free lifestyle. And now on top of all of this “doing” and maybe partly as a result of it, I am trudging through an unknown and unexplained health issue. While I am not out of the woods yet, I just want to say that your post was refreshing and it really put some things in perspective for me. Life isn’t all “go, go, go” – every human needs time to be and reflect and sit back too. I’ve made it a point to do just that this summer, to recharge my own batteries and regain some clarity.

    I know you will be just fine in this new phase of your life and with all of its comings and goings, trials and triumphs, you will come out on top! Be and enjoy and breathe in the peacefulness that summer can bring :).

    • Erika: Yes, yes, yes! I’m so glad you’ve chosen to make a point of recharging this summer. We’re all better for it when we take a little down time. Sometimes the best “detoxing” we can do has nothing to do with food, but instead relates to the other day-to-day tasks, relationships, and even our thoughts. Have a great summer!

  11. Happy belated birthday Hallie! It is a big step that you are taking, but you are such a strong person – so many good things lie ahead! It amazes me how wise you are beyond your years. It takes so many of us many more years to learn to just “be” – okay, I haven’t figured it out yet. When are you writing that book? :)

  12. Enjoy your blog break, Hallie! You bring so much to this blog, and help so many people with your recipes and insights, we will all be here waiting when you get back! You definitely have earned your “you” time. I hope you find the time gratifying, rejuvenating and joyful. I know you are going to rock it in that apartment–and beyond. xoxo

  13. Wow, Hallie, I don’t know you, but you say it so well. I am in a similar situation, but I am 35. =) Enjoy that apartment and relationships whenever they are available as God brings them into your life.

  14. Congratulations Hallie! I love new chapters … though uncertain and unsettling they can be. As my grandmother would have put it “maybe this is the year…” I hope and pray that it is … for whatever big thing God has for you next. Big hug and enjoy the nesting :) xoLexie

  15. Hi Hallie,

    I was just skimming your blog tonight and I thought that you might be interested in reading a book called “Highly Sensitive Person” by Elaine Aron. After reading and re-reading a few of your posts, I thought that it might be helpful info for your self discovery journey. I have recently discovered that I am highly sensitive and it has helped my self esteem, confidence and sense of belonging tremendously. This is my way of helping YOU in return for all of the delicious recipes and inspiration that you have given me. I hope it resonates with you.

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I'm Hallie Klecker, a professional recipe developer, author, and passionate gluten-free foodie. As a certified holistic nutrition educator, my goal is to inspire others to live a balanced, nourished life through eating well and living pure—one bite at a time. Learn more.