I debated whether or not I should put this post up today. After pounding it out on the keyboard in one fell swoop, I read through it wondering if it would just come off as rambling and if anyone would be able to relate to it. A friend kindly reminded me that I should write about what is important to me as a person and to let myself shine through what I do every day.
She’s right.
So, here it goes.
Last week, I gave myself some time and space to do a bit of soul searching and personal evaluation. In our world of constant media assaults, visual bombardment, political chaos, and overall fast-paced lifestyles, it’s not easy to slow down and pause to reflect on the status of our personal happiness and fulfillment. But when we strip away the distractions of the world and tune into ourselves emotionally and spiritually, we’re often met with a surprise. When we take the time to listen, we have the opportunity to hear the rumblings in our heart of hearts, to stare our deepest problems in the face, to acknowledge the issues we knew were there but tried to sweep beneath the carpet.
In the midst of my soul searching, there were highs and lows. I came to many discoveries, both encouraging and nerve-wracking! Digging deep and fighting the urge to shy away from life’s messy corners is hard work. But after a week of some serious personal evaluation, I can tell you that it’s something entirely worth doing. So often we lack the ability to be honest with ourselves. Deliberately taking time to be brutally honest helps us define or redefine priorities, desires, goals, ambitions, and more.
Like many people, I’m a “stress internalizer.” I take what’s bugging me on the outside and bury it down deep on the inside. But stuffing emotions only leads to them bubbling up to the surface at some point or another, eventually erupting into an emotionally-charged volcano of sorts. When I stuff stress, I almost always end up sick. My stomach will hurt, my digestion will be thrown off, and my energy will dip. Before long, depression will silently blanket me and I’ll wake up one day wondering where my zest for life has gone.
To remain healthy—both physically and mentally—it’s critical to cultivate honesty with yourself and be willing to hack away at nagging problems all the way down to the root. Doing so greatly improves your quality of life from a holistic standpoint. We achieve lasting joy and fulfillment in our lives when we are willing to grow, change, and become better people.
I’m no expert when it comes to psychology or stress management (the mere thought of that makes me laugh…), but these are a few points that help me in the soul searching process:
- Be ready for anything. When I dig deep and really try to home in on the “problem areas” of my life, I go into it knowing that what I find might be completely unexpected…in good ways and bad! Acknowledging this in advance is helpful.
- Talk it out. I’m not the first one to eagerly vocalize my feelings. But over time I’ve realized that talking issues out with a friend or close family member can be invaluable. Often the problems that I view as massive are quickly put into perspective as being not so bad when I bring others on board to weigh in with their thoughts.
- Keep a journal. Digging deep can be a draining process. Journaling through it helps me look back later and see the improvements I’ve made or the areas that still need work.
- Get rid of the distractions. If you want to get the most out of your personal time, I suggest tuning out the distractions in your life as much as possible. (Think social media, TV, other forms of technology, etc.)
- Find a creative outlet. Last week was tough, I’ll admit it. There were days where I felt confused and lonely and completely beside myself! Restoration came through cooking, taking photos, exercising, reading, and—believe it or not—cleaning. Taking a step back from whatever you’re dealing with can offer new insight and a fresh perspective.
You might be wondering what exactly I mean by “soul searching.” What does it look like? How do you go about doing it?
Like most personal matters, it looks different for everyone. Some people are natural born soul searchers that can easily plunge into the depths of their hearts on a morning run or walk with the dogs. For me, I have to set aside time to hammer things out. Last week, for instance, I began to feel the need to soul search early in the week. After looking at my schedule, I had the flexibility to dedicate some time to it each day for the rest of the week. Here’s what I did:
- Each day, I devoted quiet time to prayer, meditation, journaling, and just thinking.
- I talked about what was going on with someone else every single day.
- I wrote down revelations, mental blocks, and other notes when they came to me.
- I tried to keep up with healthy eating and exercising to nourish myself all the way around.
Keep in mind that soul searching is never really “done.” This week, I’m still spending a lot of time thinking about the key issues that I discovered were nagging at me. Instead of dwelling on them, though, I’m moving on. Now that I’ve personally recognized them as being there, I can take some small steps toward making positive change as time and opportunity allows.
Heading into a new month, I’m feeling surprisingly refreshed and ready to take on whatever life holds for me next. Soul searching has a way of breaking you down in order to build you back up. A few days ago, I read this quote from David Chang, an acclaimed chef and restauranteur:
“We’re hoping to succeed; we’re okay with failure. We just don’t want to land in between.”
That just about sums up where I’m at in life right now (and I hope many others can relate). Achieving success, however, comes with a measurable amount of risk. If we’re not willing to take leaps in life, we all too often end up in the foggy “between.”
There is one critical, determining factor that stands between dreaming of success and actually achieving it. That factor is you.
As soul searchers, our objective is to know, believe in, sharpen, and develop ourselves enough to avoid the restless in-between of life. The question is, are we willing to put in the work, to dig deep, to take those scary leaps?
I’d love to get your thoughts on soul searching. Is it something you practice or find valuable? How do you think emotional well-being relates to our physical health?
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(Many thanks to my talented sister, Brianna, for providing the beautiful photos for this post.)
